- What am I uncertain about?
Being
- Why am I uncertain about existence?
Maybe, to me, existence is akin to love. At times, it appears simpler than anything else, yet it feels more challenging than anything else. I have a friend who once told me that ‘being independent’ is impossible. According to him, people live by whispering each other’s existence through witnessing. It is through these ‘whispers’ that one experiences their own existence. I believe in my friend’s words.
After a friend, who had struggled depression with me at the same time, chose to leave this world, followed by another friend’s departure in a Halloween tragedy a few weeks later, I have been contemplating what it means to exist. Since I didn’t spend physical time with them every day, my daily routine hasn’t changed much. Yet, I find myself shedding tears constantly. Do they truly no longer exist?
- What’s uncertain about existence?
People do many things to record and prove the fact that they have existed. They write, create artworks, expose themselves on social media, produce videos or recordings, and etc. Why do people seek to prove that they have existed? In what ways and for what reasons am I trying to prove my existence?
- The reason why I wanted to be independent
Becoming an adult was a significant challenge as a young adult – which I still am – especially as an international student who has moved frequently from country to country. Becoming an independent person was one of the most important thing since there was no consistent support to rely on. (Also financially independent)
19 January
- Descarte ‘ the very act of doubting one’s own existence served – at minimum – as proof of the reality of one’s own mind’ (아무리 모든 것을 의심해도, 의심하고 있는 나의 존재만큼은 의심할 수 없다)
- Nietzsche ‘The Eternal Recurrence of the Same’
- a lot of controversy – Nietzsche didn’t elaborate in detail
- could be interpreted as nihilism
- an interpretation that we should focus on ‘now and here’ since the same thing recurs
Books to (re)read / Movies to (re)watch
– Kundera_The Unbearable Lightness of Being
– Barthe_Camera Lucia
– Arrival
21 January
Whorf_’Language determines thought or that language influence thoughts’
(n.) existence (n.) 존재
(v.) exist (v.) 존재하다
-하다 is a verb form – which means ‘to do.’ This implies that one needs to do something to exist in Korean which impacted my thoughts of ‘existence’ a lot. Do I need to ‘do’ something to exist?
- Critical reflection/review of ‘The Unbearable Lightness of Being’ by Milan Kundera
Kundera starts ‘The Unbearable Lightness of Being’ with Nietzsche’s concept of eternal return, posing the question, ‘What does this mad myth signify?’ He then answers his question by quoting Nietzsche, who stated that eternal return carries the greatest weight.
“What, if some day of night, a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: ‘This life, as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh… must return to you – all in the same succession and sequence – even this spider and this moonlight between the trees and even this moment and I myself. The eternal hourglass of existence is turned over again and again – and you with it, speck of dust!’ Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: ‘You are a god, and never have I heard anything more divine!’ If this thought were to gain possession of you, it would change you as you are, or perhaps crush you. The question in each and every thing, “do you want this once more and innumerable times more?” would like upon your actions as the greatest weight. Or how well disposed would you have to become to yourself and to life to crave nothing more fervently than this ultimate eternal confirmation and seal?
(Fredrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science: With a Prelude in Rhymes and an Appendix of Songs)
However, what does it mean to have a great weight or heavy? The author mentions Parmenides’ assertion that the world is divided into pairs of opposites; like fineness/coarseness, warmth/cold, lightness/weightiness, where the lighter is considered positive and the heavier is deemed negative. Yet, the author raises another question: Was Parmenides correct? Human efforts to make objects, including electronic devices like smartphones and laptops, as well as clothing and bags, lightweight seem to support Parmenides’ argument. However, there is also an opposing vies. Qualities such as profound sincerity, heavy sense of responsibility, and deep relationships portray heaviness in a positive light – qualities that are not visible. With this question, the author initiates Tomas and Tereza’s story.
22 January
- What is my box then?
I don’t think it’s ‘an international student who moved a lot.’ It seems closer to ‘a young adult,’ but I don’t think I will become certain about my existence as I grow older. **need to think more**
23 January
- Critical reflection/review of ‘Camera Lucida’ by Roland Barthes
Barthes introduces two concepts for understanding a photograph: studium and punctum. What I want to emphasise is punctum, which translates to ‘sting,’ ‘speck,’ ‘cut,’ ‘little hole,’ and also ‘a cast of the dice’ in Latin. The author uses the term ‘punctum‘ as a means to comprehend a photograph, but as a photographer (even though I am an amateur photographer), I believe it also encapsulates the emotion of the moment that compels me to take a photo, leaving me with no choice.
In Chapter 36, ‘Authentication,’ Barthes talks about how powerful photos are in proving something happened. To put it in his words, ‘The photograph does not necessarily say what is no longer, but only and for certain what has been.’ Even if someone can’t recall a particular moment, the undeniable existence of that person at that time is affirmed by the presence of a photograph capturing them.
24 January
How can and why I (people) record and prove their existence in various artistic ways?
- Photography
- Refer Barthes_Camera Lucida
- Punctum encapsulates the emotion of the moment that compels me to take a photo, leaving me with no choice
- Writing
- Where record started from
- Journal / Diary
- Video
- of myself (themselves)
- of others including landscape
- Fine Art
- Phenomenology
- Heidegger and Hegel
- Existence and experience; expression of one’s personal view, visual representation of sensory experiences
- Video
25th January
Phenomenology
- What subjectivity experiences is not the object itself but rather the phenomenon of objectivity.
- ‘experience’ and ‘phenomenon’ are the two most important things about phenomenology
- What significance does this object hold for me?
26th January
- What does ‘me’ signify to me? Expressing my existence through my own form of art, namely, my unique interpretation of life captured in my personal artistry.
29th January
Recent resources
- https://www.artsy.net/show/open-mind-art-space-temporary-existence?sort=partner_show_position
- https://www.artsy.net/show/blanc-art-the-realm-of-existence-and-practice?sort=partner_show_position
- https://www.artsy.net/show/zawyeh-gallery-entangled-existence?sort=partner_show_position